A line cast, a hope followedSunday, June 26, 2005
Dear xxx.
Ok I admit it, that was really a boring email wasn't it?
It basically says in code, "I wish you were here" 300 times.
I spent the last 2 hours reading and sitting in the bathtub. I cried a little. I was happy a little. I thought. I learned a new term today: emotional fusion. It is something I am really good at. Apparently this is not a good thing. I put the book aside before I learned how messed up I really am. I will come back to it though. I was looking for something erotic to read and instead it was a self-help book.
The to-do list is still not started. It's kinda grey and truthfully I just want to curl up and read a book the rest of the afternoon. Not an erotic one, and not a self-help one, something with a good story.
I reread my email to you and realized it was a series of events, nothing the least revealing in the text. I didn't say how it made me angry the pond guy was a flake, about feeling silly and loving and nostalgic making the pancakes for the kids like my Dad used to make for me as a kid, or how I was wistful thinking about yet another trip as a single parent... better yet going to a wedding, or how I struggle with why I am involved in this thing with you and equally struggle with why I'm asking why. As if some answer would make a difference. The book I read talked about why people close their eyes during sex. I guess I hide a lot of things, hoping people will see them anyhow.
bye for now.
me
Ok I admit it, that was really a boring email wasn't it?
It basically says in code, "I wish you were here" 300 times.
I spent the last 2 hours reading and sitting in the bathtub. I cried a little. I was happy a little. I thought. I learned a new term today: emotional fusion. It is something I am really good at. Apparently this is not a good thing. I put the book aside before I learned how messed up I really am. I will come back to it though. I was looking for something erotic to read and instead it was a self-help book.
The to-do list is still not started. It's kinda grey and truthfully I just want to curl up and read a book the rest of the afternoon. Not an erotic one, and not a self-help one, something with a good story.
I reread my email to you and realized it was a series of events, nothing the least revealing in the text. I didn't say how it made me angry the pond guy was a flake, about feeling silly and loving and nostalgic making the pancakes for the kids like my Dad used to make for me as a kid, or how I was wistful thinking about yet another trip as a single parent... better yet going to a wedding, or how I struggle with why I am involved in this thing with you and equally struggle with why I'm asking why. As if some answer would make a difference. The book I read talked about why people close their eyes during sex. I guess I hide a lot of things, hoping people will see them anyhow.
bye for now.
me
