A line cast, a hope followedMonday, November 29, 2004
Spent a busy week with my Dad visiting. He hasn't been to our house in about four years because he finds travel makes him too anxious. It's interesting to watch the similarities and differences in how adapting to his age-related needs and wants compare to adapting to my kids' needs and wants. I notice how they are all hyper-aware of their bodies, as if any small change in their digestion or energy level or temperature is cause for alarm. Similarly all of them are uncomfortable with changes in plans. His presence doesn't change things so much as make the boat a little slower to turn. This is something I am watching closely because he is deciding whether he should move here and become more a part of our daily lives.
He gave the kids some money to spend. It was kinda fun for him be here long enough for the natural consequences to follow. I set up a boundary that some of it had to be practical (like clothes) and then the rest could be for fun (toys or jewelry) and when the kids started their usual "Well what if I did this..." negotiation on the rules, I sent them to him. My son spent forever at the store figuring out how to spend exactly the "fun" amount to it's limit, and then brought home a toy which drove everyone nuts because it was so noisy. Dad complained until I pointed out that he had supervised the purchase, not me. My son still hasn't spent the practical amount and now my Dad has left , whereas my daughter spent the entire amount on clothes in less than fifteen minutes in a single store with him.
I have to say that after a week with everyone talking non-stop, I sort of like the quiet of my brain ticking without expressing anything. So for now, I hope you are all well and enjoying living.
He gave the kids some money to spend. It was kinda fun for him be here long enough for the natural consequences to follow. I set up a boundary that some of it had to be practical (like clothes) and then the rest could be for fun (toys or jewelry) and when the kids started their usual "Well what if I did this..." negotiation on the rules, I sent them to him. My son spent forever at the store figuring out how to spend exactly the "fun" amount to it's limit, and then brought home a toy which drove everyone nuts because it was so noisy. Dad complained until I pointed out that he had supervised the purchase, not me. My son still hasn't spent the practical amount and now my Dad has left , whereas my daughter spent the entire amount on clothes in less than fifteen minutes in a single store with him.
I have to say that after a week with everyone talking non-stop, I sort of like the quiet of my brain ticking without expressing anything. So for now, I hope you are all well and enjoying living.
