Friday, February 13, 2004

Call it my anti-Valentine's Day post. Unless you want to send me a Spongebob Valentine's Day card, in which case I might have to change my whole outlook on love this week.
A Triage of Silly Poems, in honor of Lekshe

Love or Altoids

Pass me the mints
She said breezily
Wondering if a kiss
Would ever materialize
In place of this
Sanitized affection

(Pic link courtesy of the Center for Interactive Advertising)
Muse on a Diet

When inspiration deserts you
When your muse takes one glance at the menu and orders
A new venue
When an hour after being seated
The busboy still hasn't filled your water glass
When McDonald's drive thru sounds appetizing
That's the time to announce your new diet.
Give it a fancy name
Attribute it with life saving properties
Then loudly order tangerine jelly bellies and

Staring rudely down the cleavage
Of your well dressed hostess
Fashionably early make your excuses
Leaving behind the torn out page of a telephone directory
"Plastic surgeons"
Too Much Coffee

But on my way over the top,
(and to be sure, I didn't stop at the dry cleaners)
A memory impaled me
(well surely I turned pale)
Of careening down a Las Vegas thoroughfare
Backside bared to the passing fancy
Of coffeeshop patrons and
Gamblers blearyeyedupallnightemptywalleted
Good Morning Good Morning we hollered
As the neon flickered off
While our brash stash flash
Lit up the strip
Sometimes caffeine is worse than liquor
Care to join us in the buffet line?

(pic link courtesy of Fun Ideas)

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