Wednesday, January 21, 2004

I had thought to post a cookie recipe. Or how the pair of mergansers multiplied by 5. Tell you about my dog's fondness for goose poop. My son's obsession with the word "bladder"

But instead I will tell you how powerless I feel in the face of all the power my country throws around. The money. The arsenal. The hype. The very power in how we throw these things around without (almost) ever having to face the consequences.

I was thrashing around on why we are so fucked up as a culture, about the violence, and in thrashing I asked some questions of butuki from Laughing Knees. He lives in Japan now, has the perspective of living both in the US and in other cultures and countries, and seems to have the most gentle of spirits. He is also very angry at us. In fact, as much as I'd argue I'm an exception to the ignorant American... I'm still responsible. I didn't vote for Bush. Did I do enough in the last election to be sure I wasn't outvoted? No. Did I think it would make a difference? No. I took my kids downtown and we demonstrated against the war with Iraq. Did I think it would make a difference? No. Sure I was proud Portland had such a big turnout, sure my kids became very aware of what was going on. But still, it seems/seemed unstoppable. Will I campaign this year against Bush? Yes. Will that be enough?

I am guessing probably not. I think there are so many of us who look at this administration with fear and yet what will make or break this election is...
The media.
The dollars spent.
The image makers.
The fear of "them" incited by deftly managed news slants.
The massive ignorance.
The unwillingness to look outside our boundaries.
The desire to protect ourselves.
The desire to control others.
The belief that we are better than everyone else.

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